Embarrassing things I've done while traveling

Making a fool of yourself while traveling is inevitable.  You'll make a gesture that you shouldn't.  You'll accidentally say "Please pass me the tampon" instead of "Please pass me the salt" when trying to use a foreign language.  You'll forget to say "hello" when you enter a shop and piss off the owner.  And that's ok, because everyone does it.  Also, it builds character.  Ok, maybe not, but it makes for a few good stories.  Besides, you'll never see the witnesses again

I've had my share of embarrassing travel moments, just like everyone else. Some were accidental, some were committed on purpose, and some were just purely idiotic.  So shame be damned - for your entertainment, here are a few of the embarrassing things I've done while traveling (don't worry, this is just a sampling):

1. Accidentally walked into the middle of a funeral at Sveta Nedyela church in Sofia, Bulgaria.
2. Shamelessly took a picture of a traffic accident involving a watermelon truck in Sofia, Bulgaria. The vehicle owners were not nearly as amused by the scene as I was.  They were also not amused with my picture-taking.
3. Went to some hot springs at night on the island of Ischia in Italy with a friend and 2 Italian men, and totally assumed they were “just being nice to the tourists”.  File this one under "dumb-ass".
4. Consumed too many terremotos in Santiago, Chile.  I don’t remember what I did, but I know it was cringe-worthy.
5. Jumped out of a metro train in Cairo, Egypt and promptly laid down in the middle of the outdoor platform in an attempt to not pass out. The locals kept their distance from the western chick lying on the ground.
6. Tried to talk my way into Cambodia with a supposed lack of blank passport pages, merely resulting in a loud and long scolding in front of other travelers and demands for bribe.  And all this happened on a tiny speedboat.
7. Puked my guts out on a park bench in Monaco while the elite of Europe sauntered by. I put the "ass" in "classy".

So don't worry if you mispronounce the name of the beer you want to order at a pub, play a game of charades with a local in the town square to figure out where the nearest toilet is, or accidentally fill your water bottle from a public water fountain meant for dogs. You're not semi-conscious and prostrate on a train platform in the Middle East. Laugh with the locals and keep on going - they have no idea who you are, and you probably made their day.