I am a genius and would like a cookie, please

I am completely and shamelessly addicted to my smartphone.  It is not something I need at all, but I really, really, really like it, so I suck it up and pay the ungodly cost each month.  It’s a horrible distraction, but it can come in so handy, and that’s how I justify paying for it.

Ok, that’s really not a valid justification.  I’m utterly vain, and I want an internet connection in my pocket.  There, I said it.

One of the things I love about having a smartphone is the ability to use an electronic boarding pass to fly around the country in these pressurized, engine-powered tin cans.  But most smaller airports around the US don’t have the scanners that can read electronic boarding passes, so I’m often forced to print off my passes on this old-fashioned product called paper.  

If I’m forced into this scenario, I prefer to print my passes at home so that I can get to the airport as late as humanly possible and still get on the plane.  But printing my passes at home means using up something like 6 sheets of paper.  Seriously?  It’s a boarding pass - not my master’s thesis.  Why are the airlines tacking all this extra crap onto something that necessitates nothing more than my name, flight number and departure time, and a barcode?  

Oh, right.  Advertising.  Hmph.  &$%*ing tree killers.  

And then recently, I noticed a link in minuscule print at the very bottom right corner of the browser window that contained my boarding passes:  “Print without weather and destination highlights.”  

Ah HA!  I felt like I had discovered the holy grail of aviation.  I clicked on the link, and my boarding passes magically shrunk to one page apiece.  This discovery made me far happier than it should have.  I wanted a trophy honoring my mad internet skills.    Oh, who am I kidding - I still want a trophy. Or at least a cookie.  I love cookies.

If you’ve never seen this little (and I do mean little) link on your computer when your boarding pass loads, scroll to the bottom and check it out.  You’re welcome.  If you have seen this before and you’ve known about it for years, then please don’t tell me because I want to keep thinking that I’m a computer genius.  

Now if you’ll excuse, me, I’m off to find myself a cookie.